Can’t get to sleep.
Tried to. Got to bed. Turned around many times before I gave up and turned on my laptop again. My mind is working at full steam. What work is due, what is stopping all the work from happening, deadlines, plans I am toying with to hopefully improve the business, lots of what-ifs flowing through my head as well.
Anxiety.
That’s my conclusion. I just realised that I’ve been on my own for 5 years. 5 years. That’s a really significant amount of time for a human being. What have I achieved in the last 5 years? Looking at things now, it seems like nothing. I seem to be still at where I am 5 years ago, sometimes I feel that my situation’s worse than 5 years ago.
Since we started expanding the business a year ago I’ve felt the effects more since more things are happening faster now and their impact’s larger than what it used to be. The increase in amount of expenses, the effects of the business being felt by more people, the lack of rest, my letting go of personal opportunities. All these are really adding up and I’m feeling the strain ever so much.
I admit there were good times, which is why I decided to expand the business in the first place. But sometimes when I’m faced with odds that seem so overwhelming, I wonder to myself, is this going to be worth all the sacrifices?
I think I should stop here for now. Should try and get some sleep. There’s work to be done tomorrow.
